come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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