when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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