called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
