plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
