North Korea, Best Korea!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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