Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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