Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
