his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
