I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
