oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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