He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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