he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She told me I should be a condom model.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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