you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
