He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
