That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
