just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I want to be your penis for a week.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
