Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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