No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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