You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
