I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
