i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
