last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
