Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
