Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
