A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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