So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
