he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
