She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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