he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize