Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
