Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize