Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
