Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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