Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
