just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
