we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
how drunk are you?
Several
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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