Yo dont text me then not text me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
