I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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