talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
