I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
