You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
