he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
well you can't waste a boner
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
