I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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