I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
