i don't plan on having that self control this summer
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
