Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I see more hoeing in ur future
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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