I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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