If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
