It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
