Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
