The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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