im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You need a sexual gate keeper
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
