You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
