And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
