The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
