Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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