allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
