you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
