Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
